Giant Enormous Whine ahead (you've been warned)

Sleep.  Oh sleep how I miss you so much.  I've never been one who has needed much sleep, but my sleep deprivation is at an all time high.  I get maybe 3 hours broken up each night and that is not enough.

I get dizzy these days just doing my normal chores.  The other day I got so dizzy, I was about to pass out.  So for some really messed up reason, I jumped up to run into the other room and slammed my arm against the corner of the wall and fell to my knees.  My brain feels completely fried and I don't feel at all like myself these days.  My thyroid function is fine, I'm fine, I just need sleep.  Cooper didn't start sleeping through the night until I was about 7 1/2 months pregnant with Fin.  Then I couldn't sleep because I was so uncomfortable.  Now Fin needs to eat every two hours at night and Rich is a total bear if he doesn't get sleep--so I really don't want to wake him if I can help it.  He seriously is major grouchy (sorry hon, but it's true...) and I'd rather be sleep deprived than deal with the super grouch.  And even if/when I get Rich to help me, inevitably the baby makes so much noise and ends up wanting to nurse yet again so I'm back on call.

Sure I could pump a bottle for a feed at night, but then my breasts would explode at some point making it pointless.  I've tried sleeping right after putting the older boys to bed for an hour or so while Rich has the baby downstairs, but with our schedules, I usually have too much to do that makes going to bed at 8:30p doable.

Four kids has really pushed me over the edge.  Thankfully Fin is a doll baby and I know that once he is out of his giant spewing, gassy tummy phase, he has the markers of being a sleeper like Riley.  But until he is a bit more matured, the smaller more frequent feeds will just have to do.  So I don't need advice, just understanding when I step out the door with two different colored shoes on and yesterdays t-shirt with spit up on it.  And if I try to make a joke that totally misses the mark?  Laugh anyway so I feel less alien like.  

And if you are the praying type?  Pray that my toddler stops thinking the dog food bowl is his own personal play dough.  Or that my makeup is just like his crayons.  Or that if he doesn't like the food that is served it becomes a baseball game towards the wall.  Because that doesn't help when I'm in a fog.

Coupon bonanza 11/5/09

I saved $114.17 which was 66%!!!  I felt like such a stud I tell you.  I even shouted out a "whoo hoo" at the check out line and the people who'd been waiting an hour for my coupons to get entered clapped for me.  

Some of my free stuff: free bacon, free english muffins, free eggs, free orange juice, free pasta sauce, free pasta, free croutons, free salad dressing, free Kleenex and free Progresso Beef Broth.

It was so time consuming though.  I got the circulars on Tuesday and started scoping and planning.  I matched coupons to the ads at both Safeway and King Soopers and decided to head to Safeway due to the better deals they had going on for this week.  I had to have the paper spread out for a few days on the island taking up room that I normally use for food prep.  I went online and checked the coupons.com site for the weekly specials from the paper.  I also went through the Safeway shopper rewards stuff to add coupons savings online.  For instance I got an Au Gratin potato box coupon from the coupons.com site, but I also added the same coupon onto my Safeway rewards card too.  So it was double the savings.  

I spent $61.23 and got $175 worth of groceries.  I got brown sugar, flour, box mashed potatoes, croutons, dressing, pasta sauce, pasta, onion powder, two boxes of juices for the soccer team thing, butterscotch chips, beef broth (2), V8 Fusion, Caribou Coffee was a steal at $2.99 lb.--I had two coupons so I got two of them, Kleenex (3), Eggs, milk (.99/gallon) OJ, Pizza, Butter (2), choc chip cookie dough precut, english muffins, loaf of wheat bread, bagels, turkey for Thanksgiving ($6.88) Bacon,  4 bags of grapes.  

So I had a successful trip, but what do I serve this week for food?  Spaghetti with a salad (have some lettuce leftover from last week,) omelet and bacon for breakfast tomorrow.  I have chicken from last week to grill and I'll marinate it in the salad dressing.  I used the mashed potatoes tonight to go with the ham I bought last week and some peas.  We'll have some blueberry pancakes for dinner (I didn't make them last week and I've had some begging...) and I'll get started on my Christmas cookie baking for gifts for teachers.  I'll still have to head over to King Soopers and/or Sprouts for some meat (the shrimp I was going to buy was published as $4.99/lb but came in a two pound bag, so my coupon wasn't good enough for it to be affordable.)  I have plenty of fresh fruit and veggies, so I'll be scanning the fliers mostly for protein sources, so not more than $20.

What I've learned.  Take all the coupons with you.  I left a bunch behind that didn't present as specials on the flier, but there were several good deals I knew I had coupons for that weren't listed.  Focus on the cost per meal.  I think that deals are great and exciting, but if you have too much flour/sugar/butter/cereal, it's not going to feed your family adequately.  If I focus on the per meal cost, it is so much better.  We had a meal last week that cost approx $.80 per person.  It was fajitas and had vegetables and protein and calcium etc.  THAT was a good deal.  My chili last week?  Cost about $.75 per person.  We stretched that for 4 servings of leftovers after the dinner, a total win on cost.

I'm all stocked on baking items, and pantry supplies.  I really need to make sure I'm saving money on the healthier whole foods as well.

RIP Shelly

I met Shelly several years back on the about.com Frugal Living forum.  I was a new Mom and found it easy to cruise online while nursing my son a dozen times a day.  She and I then moved to the Delphi Living Frugally forum and were moderators and enjoyed talking about how to save money.  She and I shared several things, one being Catholic yet a Democrat, which is pretty rare for a Catholic to be a Democrat out loud.  I actually left the Church for a few years feeling so much like an intruder every Sunday.  I came back because of Shelly and a few others I had met that made me realize the Church has room enough for everyone.

Shelly and I would scrap it up during the election seasons and I would find myself nodding in agreement with her on everything.  

She leaves behind two Sons, two Granddaughters and a dearly loved Husband.  She loved the Beatles almost as much as the Catholic Church and she had a great sense of humor.  She was a fierce Momma bear and I get that.

Speaking of the Beatles...I was crying this morning when I found out Shelly had passed.  My son Jack told me that he understood my pain.  He said that he was just as sad when his pet grasshopper "Jude" died.  Knowing Shelly's love for the Beatles and remembering the song "Hey Jude" made me laugh out loud.  It was like God was using Jack to cheer me up and to know that my friend is in heaven with our heavenly Father.  

My mission for the next few months

So that whole coupon clipping, $4 a week grocery bill thing had my brain working overtime this weekend.  I did a little research and I found a few more pieces of information.  I had never heard the term Catalina before used for couponing.  That's a big part of getting your groceries for cheap.  From what I understand, a Catalina is your cash rebate to put towards your next round of groceries.  So if you buy 2 Pillsbury pie crusts, you get $2.50 towards your next grocery bill.  That's how you pay for the more expensive groceries that can't be whittled down enough by coupons.  Also, if the coupon doesn't have a size specific, you can purchase travel sizes to make money off the coupon.

The problem with buying smaller product amounts or travel sizes to me is environmental.  Buying 10 travel size Dove antiperspirants goes against my moral philosophy of living lightly off the land.  I personally can't buy a dozen containers to throw into a landfill, I feel too guilty.

I did buy a newspaper on Sunday (felt a wee bit guilty for all the paper waste, but I did recycle...) and clipped like crazy.  I also signed my savings card online for Safeway--less paper waste, yeah!  

So my goal for the next few months is to see if I could get down to $100 a week for groceries.  That's less than $1 per person per meal, not including snacks.  I can't even imagine getting that low, but with coupons, catalinas and buyer reward programs, I know I can save money.  It will be a matter of how much I can save.

My grocery shopping expose

I saw a Good Morning America video blurb of a woman (Mother of 6) that spends $4 a week on groceries for the week.  Yes, I wrote 4 US DOLLARS!

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Parenting/mom-feeds-family-week/story?id=8463295

In the spirit of my No Impact week and also trying not to spend money, I decided to see what I could do to get the weekly grocery bill down.  I try to shop once a week if possible because I find if I shop more than that, I impulse buy.  This way I make a menu, make a list and stick to it.

Only this time I brought along coupons I found off the internet.  Specifically I went to http://print.coupons.com/CouponWeb/Offers.aspx?pid=13306&zid=iq37&nid=10 and also my local grocery stores had links for online coupon printing.  There was also an option to put coupons directly on your shopper card from Safeway and King Soopers, so I did that too.  I also visited my favorite products website and found coupons to print off.  

Every Wednesday we get the grocery store circulars, so culled through the 3 grocery stores I frequent the most and put coupons against "sales" also known as "loss leaders."  This whole ordeal took up about 1 1/2 hours of my time and here are my results.

At King Soopers (usually where I get the best deals for non-produce/non-meat items) I saved $46.93 in coupon savings for a total grocery bill of $102.51 after coupon savings.  Clearly not $4, and I'm still scratching my head at how she did it.  I had a 32% savings off my groceries but some of it I would have saved anyway because I always shop loss leaders.

Unfortunately, I came home with my bounty and knew that I still had to buy meats and produce as well as use up my freebie coupons at Safeway before they expired.

Off to Safeway where I've stopped shopping as frequently because their prices always seem a little higher.  So with loss leaders (and my pantry and trip to King Soopers) in mind, I'm making chicken fajitas, hamburgers, tilapia, chili and chicken stir fry this week.  I saved $64 in coupons with a total after coupon bill of $46.78!  That's 59% savings.  I had received free item coupons as a frequent shopper, so I got two bags of brown rice, a bottle of salad dressing, tortillas, tortilla chips, salsa and a free bag of frozen veggies too!  I felt so much better after this shopping trip.

However, I'm still low on fruit for the week and need to head over to Sprouts.  But at Sprouts, I just need some grapes ($.88/lb) apples ($.77/lb) and pears ($.77/lb.) and in the end, I doubt I'll spend more than $10 for fruit for the week for 5 people.  I'm going to wait to go until Wednesday because we have some bananas, apples and pineapple to get through and Wednesday is double discount day there...so you get the sales from this week and next all in one day.  I might find a few veggies or fruits to round out our week.  The boys go through an obscene amount of fruit and I hate saying no and really, they'd just nosh on expensive yogurt and cheese if I didn't.

So for almost $150, we should be good for the week and then some.  I bought ahead on several items like toilet paper, cereal and some Thanksgiving stuff like pie crusts etc.  We eat so healthy that $150 a week is actually pretty good for me.  But do I feel like I did well?  No.

I think what she does is coupon collect constantly.  Then she waits for the best price on something and does the double coupon thing and gets it practically free.  But I don't think she did it overnight and imagine it took 6 months to get the rhythm going.  I'd be interested in those sorts of questions as opposed to how well she does each week.  I mean, it's a great story, but if you don't share the tools on how you got to the point, who cares really.  

Anyway, trick or treat to all my friends and a Happy Halloween!

Printable Coupons

Printable Coupons

No Impact Week part 2

I have stayed away from buying anything unnecessary, but I can't really claim success.  I sent Rich to the store to buy some pretzels (we were running low on carb snacks and even the popcorn was down to the last of the kernels,) knowing full well the man can't help himself in the snack aisle.  He came home with Fritos, Cheetos AND pretzels.  So if you know money is going to spent, then one can't claim total innocence.

BUT I did do well with not eating out on Tuesday.  I was running around all day and instead of making a run for the border, we ate leftovers.  I also made my own baby wipe solution (I do this all the time, so it's not new) and had a significantly cheap bean/rice meal on Wednesday.  I'm still eating the leftovers and feeling smug and superior in my frugality.  Dave Ramsey, eat your heart out.

The boys have done a terrible job on turning off lights.  I really need to work on that with them.  We've used less water this week for certain and I've been just very aware at all the ways I waste resources, which should count for something.

Today is a snow day and the TV is off and the big boys are playing with Legos.  I'm contemplating making a pizza today, but totally cognizant on how much easier and less messy takeout pizza can be.  I have to finish icing the sugar cookies from yesterday and preparing the crafts/games for the Halloween Party tomorrow for Jacks class.  If I can finish that and finish laundering the whites and diapers, I will make dough.  It isn't hard, it's more the mess that makes me feel weary.  I just have too much mess as it is and that is what is so hard about homemade stuff.

Day One of No Impact

OK, I made an impact.

I made lots of impacts unfortunately, but hey, it's day one.  I could go on with what I did wrong, but that's the perfectionist in my talking.  So I'll just go on with what I did right.

I made refrigerator dough on Thursday and used it to make cloverleaf rolls, a loaf of bread and then this morning, coffee cake.  The loaf of bread didn't turn out that great for sandwich bread, so I sent Rich out for bread and milk.  Crap, I forgot eggs.  Oh well.  Anyway, like I was saying, what I did right this week...

Last night I made chicken with noodles and veggies with butter sauce.  I used 2 of the breasts from a package and today, I took the other two breasts and boiled it in chicken broth.  Then I made pie crust and made a chicken pot pie.  It's baking right now and I'm really looking forward to it.  I had a lot leftover from the creamed chicken with veggies, so I'll freeze that and use that for a baked potato party in the future.  It's so good on baked potatoes or with pasta.

I'm off my gluten free thing for now due to the finances, and feeling pretty crummy, but that's temporary.  For the rest of the week, I'm going to go gluten free by doing without at meals that I have gluten for the family.  But that's a personal side issue I need to work on.

I also made a batch of popcorn because it is so cheap (microwave popcorn is expensive and doesn't taste that great anyway.)  

I washed/dried a load of diapers today, so thats another frugal/low impact thing to do--but it isn't like something new for me so does that really count?

The rest of the week menu will be black bean soup with rice, pasta (always cheap and a pantry staple,) leftover pot pie, blueberry pancakes/fruit salad and homemade pizza.  I have everything I need for those.  For me, I'll have to use up my gluten free pasta, I'll make gf crust for the pizza and make eggs along with the pancakes to eat instead and eat leftover pasta or bean soup on the leftover pot pie night!  I'm going to double up the pancake batter batch and freeze for breakfasts and double up the pie crust and freeze for another day so as to help with time and effort.  

I've been turning off all the lights and had a family meeting with the boys.  They are to turn off all the lights and not run water etc. etc. and whoever does a better job of it (I have lists on the fridge) will get a little prize.  I have a Bionicle I've been saving for a bday party, and will give it to the winner.

I'll do an hour of TV for Cooper tomorrow (I NEED some TV time for that child to get a shower and clean dishes without him climbing into the dishwasher!)  I'll soak the beans tonight and  

I won't be using paper towels, baggies or anything else not recyclable or reusable.  Also, after I buy eggs (and I have to buy eggs!) I will use up all the groceries and not shop for anything else except maybe milk.  We can do this!!

Soaking dishes

No impact week is still in the planning mode...

I attempted to soak dishes in soapy water and I really think I waste more water that way.  If you rinse your dishes soon after using them, you really don't need to soak them.  It took several minutes and a ton of water to fill up the basin.  Then you run out of room for all the dishes and it was gross sticking my hand in cold dirty water.  Then I had to rinse off the soap before putting them in the dishwasher.   The thought of having one basin for soaking and one basin for rinsing is even more wasteful of water in my experience.

Lesson learned. 

Getting ready for my own "no impact" week

I have been reading some really good suggestions and had a few to share.

1. When waiting for hot water, set a bucket to catch excess water.  Now I've heard this one many times, but the suggestions are to water plants and while I aspire to owning plants one day or even a tree that will live more than 24 hours in my yard, it just doesn't happen.  BUT I've heard to use the water to flush with or to add dish soap to soak dishes.

That leads me to the next tip:

2. Get a sink full of soapy water and just set your dishes in their throughout the day instead of rinsing each and every dish as that wastes water.

My other preparation for this week is to tune up all my appliances:

3. Wash the electronic air cleaner and change out the humidifier pad and clean the filter on the heater.

4. Make sure the hot water heater is set to 120F

5. Clean out the dryer vent and scrub down the washer inside and out. 

6. Clean the back of the refrigerator with the vacuum and check for dust bunnies all around.

If you have any tips for me, subscribe to my blog and comment here.  It's much easier to keep up with the comments here than on Facebook.  On Facebook, I get too distracted by all the wall comments and different apps.  I'm like a cat with a flashlight there :-)

No Impact Week

Inspired by Huffington Posts "No Impact Week" I'm going to have my own week of "Saving Money" week.

No impact is part of it, but also working to save as much money as possible goes hand in hand with living lightly off the land.

I already use cloth diapers for the kids and we have zero waste at lunchtime (I sell Laptop Lunches in case anyone is interested!) by using reusable containers and water bottles.  We also recycle and reuse via hand-me-downs as much as possible.

I'll start on Sunday, but I'll be taking today through Saturday to gear up for it and get the family ready to do it.  It's really hard to train kids to think about our resources with every action, but I'm willing to give it a go this weekend.  We are going to turn off lights when leaving a room, maybe even candlelight for dinner (how fun is that??) I also want to eliminate television and use our bikes to get groceries.  Speaking of groceries, I'm going to take inventory of what I have in the pantry and see what I can make throughout the week with what I have.  If I can't use something in the pantry, I'm going to donate it to FISH (local food bank) so that someone else can use up that can of full fat refried beans that I bought on accident.

I have a recipe for refrigerator dough for bread that is sitting in my fridge so that is one less thing to buy this week.  Breakfast will be oatmeal I already have and the occasional french toast or pancakes depending on the egg bounty.

Also with saving money is exercise and now that I finally have the green light, I'm getting excited to start running again.  I'll probably bike and walk for several weeks and work up slowly to running, but I can't wait!

Meeting with the Realtor

We met with our realtor yesterday and the news was better than we had hoped.  I've known Ken for 10 years and we served on our HOA together for the past 4 1/2 years.  So I know he's good at what he does and he is fair.  He thinks we can get a lot more for our house than we thought and that we won't have to put any more money into it to get it sold.  We are ecstatic!

Now I've been checking out rentals in the area we are interested in just for fun.  There really is a lot out there and although moving twice will be a hassle (one to the rental and the next to our forever home) I just am not ready to settle quickly on a house in an unfamiliar area.  I'd rather rent for a year and get to know the area and look around for a place that fits our needs.  In the meantime we can work on building up our savings again and maybe even save up money for a new van.  I like paying cash for vehicles because that monthly payment totally sucks.

So let's hope we can put the house on the market and it sells quickly!

First snow

Today started way too early.  Last night is a blur right now, but I handed off the baby at 6:30a to Rich to get Cooper (age 21mo.)  We got downstairs and I could see the delicate little snowflakes falling and Coopers eyes got really big and said, "snow!"  It was hard not to smile.  We let Sky outside to do her business and get up close to the freezing cold 19F and shiver.  Cooper got down out of my arms and went window to window looking in complete marvel at the seasons change.

I forgot to call the guy to blow out the sprinklers, crap.

On the stove is a new concoction.  It's like a wintery stir fry with chicken sausage (with apples,) rice, butternut squash and delicata squash.  I threw in some butter for good measure after baking the squash in the stove, added some salt and pepper too.  It smells good and it's making me miss home.

A high school classmate wrote a post today on Facebook about a cold Coke at a hardware store.  I knew exactly what he was talking about and it took me back in time.  My Dad is a handy sort and always had a weekend project.  We would head out to Bierce Hardware and he'd give me a dime to buy a Coke to keep me occupied while he would shoot the breeze with men he knew.  It seems so nostalgic now.  The taste of that cold Coke in a glass bottle is one of the best experiences in the world.  In fact, I mentioned the post to my husband and he relayed my story back to me.  I guess I already told him about Bierce Hardware at some point in our relationship.  He then told me the story about his professor and dry ice and trying to quickly refrigerate beverages and I listened, but I had already heard that story a half dozen times too.   It's amusing to me that we have beverage stories that we have both shared more than once.  

I think I have a Coke in a can made with "real sugar" or something.  Maybe if I crush ice to drink it down with it will be a close facsimile?  Meh, I doubt it.

Selling the house

It's been long overdue.  With Rich losing his job twice in the past several years and getting a pay cut each time, this house has become too expensive.  We don't eat out, we don't take vacations, everything is budgeted tightly and I'm so tired of living this close to the edge.  I don't think that his pay will improve enough in the next five years to make the mortgage worth it.

Plus, now that we are sending our kids to a school 15 minutes away, I'd rather cut the commute anyway.

So now we have to fix up the house to sell.  I so dread this.  If it wasn't hard enough to just maintain the laundry, the kitchen, the carpets, the bathrooms...now I have to find time to paint, patch and replace.  But after this is said and done it will be so nice to pay significantly less on a mortgage and start living again.

Childcare is relentless

Last night, at the end of a very tiring busy week, the crib broke.  Poor Rich.  He just looked so defeated.  We still had to feed the kids, clean the kids, clean the kitchen, bath kids and put said children down to sleep.  Plus, we had to get the toddler out of time out for never ending high pitched screaming and get the boys to clean up all their Legos that were spread throughout the carpet.

The baby still gets up every two hours to feed and when he erupts with spit up out his nose, it can take an hour to get him back down.  So needless to say we are getting a good 4-5 hours of sleep every night.

So when the crib broke, I really though Rich was going to pack a bag and take off last night.  But he didn't.

We then went through our orchestrated nightly ritual in unison and we didn't die.  I nursed Gryffin down to sleep then put Cooper in a bath while Rich put up another crib (this was Finn's crib, but he is still in the pack n play in our room.)  Jack head butted Riley in the jaw as I was dressing Cooper in PJ's as he was attempting to escape my clutches during the white ointment on the bottom treatment.  Oi.  I finally rassled Cooper into the diaper and jammies and fetched an ice pack for Riley.  Jack and Riley brushed their teeth and Jack read to Cooper while I straightened up the bathroom and bedroom.  Rich finally finished the bed to go clean the kitchen (he still hadn't eaten dinner and it's 8p) I nurse Cooper down and the big boys are in bed reading.  The baby fusses, Rich fetches the baby and abandons the kitchen.  I come out from Coopers room and grab the baby and try to settle him down.  Rich finishes the kitchen and eats (I'm assuming because I didn't see him do any of this and at this point he is mute.)  At about 9:08p I still can't settle Gryffin and need Rich to come get the baby so I can sleep for a few hours.  He comes up and I'm out like a light.  

Thank God its Saturday.

Potty training

So it's that time again.  

We bought a "frog" potty a few months ago in anticipation of this momentous event.  My girlfriend Michele donated some tiny underwear for the cause and they have been sitting on a shelf collecting dust so that when that window opened, I could take that opportunity and snag it.

The window is open I think.  He's been talking about peeing on the potty and pooping on the potty for a few months now.  This last week, he's almost been obsessed by it.  So I looked for the signs: 1. staying dry for a few hours--CHECK! 2. showing interest in the potty--CHECK! 3. able to remove his own clothing--CHECK!  4. hating diapers--CHECK!

With Gryffin in diapers and Jack and Riley in underwear using the potty, I think he is putting it all together.  Plus, with cloth diapers, I think they feel it more and just want to move up to dry thin cotton quicker.

So yesterday he tells me he has to poop on the potty.  I undress him and we do some heavy reading on the potty.  He doesn't pee, but he toots a few times.  He reads for awhile and then I recognize he is not really in the frame of mind anymore.  I dress him and put him down for his nap.  No biggie.  He ends up pooping after his nap, so it was a false alarm.

Today?  Tells me he has to poop on the potty again.  I undress him, this time Gryffin is down for a nap so I can give him undivided attention.  We do some heavy reading and he toots.  Fine.  He then reads some more and gets back on the potty with a new book and pees!  Jackpot!  So then I'm excited and he says he has to poop again.  Fine.  He just toots.  But I know he is pushing and I know he knows the process which is 1/2 the battle.  Gryffin cries and I go in and stick the pacifier back in.  He is running around his room looking at books etc.  I run downstairs to get a drink of water for myself (he's got his cup already) and I post a message to my husband.  I run back upstairs and see Cooper going through books still.  Next thing I know he poops on the floor.  He runs to the potty, but it's too late.  I should have known!  I missed it.  That sucks.  So we were so very close and tomorrow is another day.  I wiped everything off and put it all in the potty and flushed it down (with his help) in the big potty.  Gave him some gummies throughout the process and I know he is excited to try again when the time comes.

I'll keep you posted on the process as it evolves.  Jack took 7 months after showing promise the first time, Riley took 1 week to potty train himself.  Who knows what Cooper is capable of, but both boys potty trained a 2 1/2 yo  and 2 yo respectably.

My laundry had babies

It was a classic story of colors meets towels.  It was a forbidden love as they had been warned that mixing would create temperature conflict causing nothing but misery.  They didn't listen.  Next thing you know the whites got involved and it created a care triangle based on bleach fears.

It wasn't long before I walked in on this tryst and realized to my horror that there were more piles all over the laundry room.  Who knew they were that fertile?  Not only that but sheets were sleeping with rags, and duvets partnered with delicates.  It was Sodom and Gomorrah.

When women give away the store

When did this happen?  At what point did I let everyone else dictate decisions for my life?

Today I was asking Cooper (my 21 mo)to give me some privacy in the bathroom.  I also asked him if he would come in from wanting to play outside so I could eat.  Yesterday, I was picking out cream cheese and realized that I hadn't bought my favorite flavor in like forever because my kids don't like vegetable cream cheese.   I went ahead and bought some veggie cream cheese and it was damn good!

Last week I made Bruschetta along with some pasta with spinach and chicken.  I hesitated making it because Rich and Riley dislike tomatoes and isn't a fan of spaghetti in general, and no one eats spinach but me.  But I did it.  And you know what?  They liked it.  Mind you Riley wasn't pounding down the bruschetta, but they all ate the spinach pasta and even Rich gave it two thumbs up.

In a family of 6, where I am outnumbered by sheer volume of testosterone, I'm going to make sure my voice is heard from now on.  I do the shopping and they can like it or move out!

I hate myself for this

I find myself completely obsessed with entertainment news about the Gosselins, you know from Jon & Kate Plus 8 on TLC?  

I have never felt a consuming need for entertainment info on anyone in my life.  What makes this story so compelling to me?  I think it goes back to when I first watched it, I was never a big reality TV fan to begin with (OK, truth time, I did get into the first two The Bachelor series, there, I said it.) But J & K?  I thought she was a little too type A for me and he was such a weak man and those two personalities on a TV series just didn't cut it for my limited time with the TV.

But then the divorce and subsequent scandals!  I picked a side in the beginning.  Team Jon.  I mean, she was such a shrew and so mean sometimes.  Then the press started talking about cheating and his drinking etc. and I watched bits and pieces on a weekend marathon of J & K.  I started seeing for myself how she didn't start out to be a PITA.  She was actually kind of nice to him and light hearted at times.  Then there seemed to be a major shift in the middle.  She grew to be impatient and easily annoyed by him.  I know that I'm overwhelmed with four all different ages and I'm pretty laid back.  How hard would it be to have 6 the same age with an OCD weakness?  Then I noticed how Jon always pitched in and did whatever she asked (which was great!)  BUT, he had to be told what to do in every instance.  He never came up with the ideas and he never took the lead.  He seemed to me to be giving her the lead so that he wouldn't be blamed if it went bad.  That's so weak and passive aggressive.

So whatever, they each have their issues and need to be apart, right?  

They were just a blip on my radar then.  Another celebreality non-story about a couple divorcing.

And then, it got interesting.  I was in a Doctors office waiting and I picked up a magazine with Jon on the cover with another woman--on a yacht.  He's not even divorced yet and he's on vacation holding hands with a woman that looked barely out of high school.  I'm totally intrigued.  Mostly because he just isn't attractive to me.  I mean, what super young girl would date an unattractive, balding man with a paunch who has 8 children and isn't even divorced yet??  He's a passive aggressive 32yo with a beer gut that rivals Will Ferrells (and at least Will is funny.)  There is nothing remotely "catchable" about this guy.  Yet he has been linked with several women so far.  And his wife, while promoting the show and her career, is pretty evasive about all topics Jon.  She is taking the high road and this guy is just flaunting himself all over the world.  He isn't special.  He is a Dad on a reality show on a low rated television cable channel for goodness sakes!  He's acting like he is Brad Pitt or something.

So now I try to watch it, but when Rich comes in the room, I change the channel.  I'm surprisingly super embarrassed to be caught watching the train wreck.  It's like my own private perversion--although not so private now that I've blogged about it! ha!

Oh and I'm totally team Kate.  As long as she keeps me appropriately at bay on her issues with Jon and keeps up her "perfect, loving Mother" persona, I'm golden.  I even let the public spanking and dog give back go.  Thank God she has good publicists or I would have to find some other drama for my domestic escape.

10% Discount on SleepWraps with free shipping!

This is my friend Barb's husband Bob, isn't he a hot babywearing Dad?  Anyway, this week is International Babywearing week and I'm celebrating Bob and the countless parents who wear their baby close to their bodies keeping the baby cozy and safe.  If you have a baby, but no carrier?  I'm offering a 10% discount and free shipping for the SleepyWrap carrier.  It's a gorgeous carrier and I use it myself for Gryffin and before that, Cooper.

Makes a great baby shower gift for the Mother who has everything and is soft, stretchy and helps distribute the baby's weight for your backs sake.

Enjoy!

Goodbye Dairy

Farewell dairy, it's been a fun ride.  I have to give you up because you disagree with Gryffin.  So goodbye cream cheese, so long sour cream, hasta la vista cottage cheese and see ya later ice cream.

Hello weight loss!

Laundry

I'm really trying to get caught up and keep caught up on the laundry that never ends.

But I have to say that I witnessed (but forgot to take a picture) the worst stained shirt in my lifetime.  It had chocolate, something yellow, something red, something pink all over the front, down to the midline and into the base of the shirt.  The back?  Had fingerprints that somehow thought it was acceptable to wipe chocolate all over the back of the shirt with accompanied red something or another.  The culprit?  My almost 9yo.  

I can't even mention his underwear.  Seriously.

I had him take the Shout bottle (my emergency stain remover as the Bac Out, just can't touch food dyes at all) and spray the crap out of the shirt.  His hand hurt really bad (*sniff* OK, who am I kidding, I was cackling inside) and made him repeat the mantra, "my shirt is not a napkin."

He had to do the same for his underwear *shudder*

Thank God for Prefold diapers

I have a secret to share.  I used paper diapers for the first few weeks after Gryffins birth.  I know, I know, but I have a diaper service, I sell diapers, think of the environment!!!

But honestly, after the homebirth and with my Parents visiting and the new school starting for the older boys and all the piles of laundry, I just couldn't do it.  I just couldn't manage another load of laundry when we were hot dogs, frozen pizza, grilled cheese and cereal for dinner!

So now that I'm more caught up on laundry (not totally caught up, because how can a family of 6 ever be totally caught up??) I started back with my prefolds again.  Thank God.  Now I realize another reason I choose cloth over paper.  Sure I have to launder a few more loads a week, but the money I am saving and the cuteness of the covers with the amazing absorbency of cloth? Well, I apologize to the world for my small disposable product lapse and promise to never go there again.

I don't judge others who feel overwhelmed and go with paper over cloth, but I judge myself and know better.  I know how easy it is to cloth diaper and I won't go back, I promise.

Newborn Narcotic

http://www.doublex.com/section/kids-parenting/katie-roiphe-my-newborn-narcotic?page=0,0

I especially like this part:

"People often compare having a new baby to the early days of a love affair, which is true as far as it goes, but one’s physical fixation on, and craving for, a newborn is much stronger and more intense that that. How often in a love affair can you literally find yourself in tears because you were away from a man for three hours?"

I sit here with my Gryffin in my lap as I type and I can smell the new baby smell from the top of his head and feel his fuzzy little hair tickle my chin.  He scrunches up his body and makes a creaky moan and I kiss his delicious chunky cheek.  This is so temporary.  This is so fleeting.  A newborn is just a newborn for nanoseconds in my life.  I've enjoyed four instances of this newborn intoxication and I'm so very lucky.

My tummy looks like a Shar pei

OK, maybe it looks like a very pale chunk of whale underbelly?  Then you pair it with the giant breasts and it is so far from my teenage years as to be unrecognizable.  At some point, vanity will rear it's ugly head and if I can't manage to get my belly back to some sort of normalcy, I'm going under the knife.  I don't need to have a 6-pack and I'd settle for a little pooch.  But after 4 kids, it is a kangaroo pouch that can house a 12-pack and a case of Patron.  

I'm being sarcastic, but it is so gross and wrong.  But I did get some pretty cool prizes for my efforts.

As for the breasts?  I'll have to wait and see what happens to them.  Right now they are nice looking fun bags.  After nursing?  Um, yeah.  I'll probably need to invest in some seriously expensive bras that mold, shape, lift and hide in perfect unison.

Homebirth

The story of my homebirth really starts with my first birth.

My first Son, Jack, was born in the year 2000.  I took a Bradley Course and really felt prepared for anything.  I wanted to go all natural and in my 34th week, ended up in labor.  I wasn't quite prepared for going so early, and had a Doula to guide me through labor along with my "Coach" AKA husband Rich.  It was a 22 hour labor and I started labor with an amniotic leak.  Labor didn't really kick in for several hours.  I ended up at the hospital 6 hours later to get started on antibiotics and get a cervical check etc.  Any contractions I had immediately stopped at the hospital.  I guess I have what they call "white coat syndrome."  I'm frightened of hospitals and not a fan of needles.  They gave me some synthetic prostaglandin which hurt more than I can explain.  Contractions started picking up and piggy backing on top of one another.  I still wasn't progressing quickly enough for my Doctor and ended up asking for the epidural after the Pitocin was administered.  Pitocin sucks ass.  Jack was fine, I had a second degree tear and he only had to spend a week in the NICU, but it still wasn't quite the birth I had hoped for.

Then I got pregnant with Riley.  Hope springs eternal.  I thought this time would be so very different.  I did get to 37 weeks with him (whoo hoo!) but I woke up with a strong leak at 2a.m.  Contractions didn't really get underway for about 12 hours and I had to go in to the hospital for antibiotics again.  This time, I took a HypnoBirthing course.  It was using self hypnosis to relax me during labor.  I got to the hospital and again, my contractions stopped.  I walked all over that damn hospital trying to kick start labor.  Finally, my contractions started up again and after several hours, they checked me and found that I was still stuck at 7 cm and my cervix was swelling up as I felt an incredible need to push.  They wouldn't let me push and my water broke, but that didn't do anything to open my cervix.  At this point, I was probably in labor around 20+ hours and exhausted.  They had to do an amniotomy which is putting water back inside of me because Riley's heartbeat was varying too much for them.  I eventually begged for an epidural because they wanted to start Pitocin.  Pitocin so sucks ass.  So 31 hours after labor officially began, I birthed Riley with a second degree tear.  Again, not the birth I envisioned for myself.

After Riley, I had lots of female issues with endometrial cysts and had a cyst removed through a laparotomy.  At this point, I was told that I probably wouldn't be having any more kids.  I went to a Homeopathic Doctor who diagnosed me with Celiac disease and tweaked my Thyroid meds (I became Hypothyroid after Jack.)  I started to feel so much better and my cyst issue disappeared.

I had two miscarriages in between Riley and Cooper.

I found out I was pregnant with Cooper, Son #3!  I didn't want to have a replay of Jack and Riley's birth and ended up at a free standing Birth Center.  The pregnancy was full of apprehension at first with me on Progesterone so I wouldn't miscarry.  I had terrible morning sickness, but otherwise, it was an uneventful pregnancy.  My Midwife suggested I take Fish Oil, which wasn't suggested to me with my other two births.  At 39 weeks 5 days, I went into labor with Cooper.  It started with the Midwife stripping my membranes and later that afternoon, my labor was off and running.  I was feeling really good for being in labor and this time, I used techniques from the HypnoBabies home study course.  This course was much more comprehensive than HypnoBirthing IMO.  I kept track of my contractions on the computer, but didn't even really feel like labor other than a few squeezes here and there.  At 6p we packed our bags and dropped the boys off at their friends house for the night.  We made it to the birth center around 8p and my contractions stopped!  As usual.  Rich ran to get me a sandwich and after he got back, and I ate, I started feeling something.  Around 9p, contractions started up again with gusto and I felt great through them up until about 7cm.  My Midwife checked me and told me my cervix was swelling because I felt the incredible need to push, but I shouldn't because I'm not totally dilated.  I was so upset.  I thought my cervix was going to burst and I couldn't stop needing to push.  I couldn't breathe through them and felt so defeated.  She got this worried look on her face and that worried me.  Then she asked if I wanted to go to the hospital and I said yes because I thought I was going to explode or die or something.  The EMT's get there and the one guy was such a jackass.  I got really annoyed with him and wanted to kick him (honestly, I can't remember now what he said, but I remember my anger!) and that is where Rich said the cervix dilated.  I thought it was the bumpy ride to the hospital, but anyway...I'm in the hallway and I thought that I must have a hemorrhoid about to burst because something was coming out of my bottom and I was totally freaked out.  It wasn't a hemorrhoid.  It was Cooper's head crowning.  I got into the hospital room when I realized that I had in fact dilated and I was pushing a baby out at that moment.  The nurses were so busy and thankfully my Midwife caught him just in time.  The Doctor wasn't even in the room yet.  So a 5 1/2 hour labor with a crazy ambulance ride and there I was in a crappy hospital yet again.  This was very close to my ideal birth (no meds, no tears, no interventions except for the membrane stripping,) but not quite.

We were done having kids at this point.  

Cooper was 11 months old when I found out I was pregnant again, SURPRISE!  LOL  I guess we weren't done yet.

Anyway, I was so apprehensive of giving birth again.  It just seemed too tedious to even think about.  Part of me wanted a C-section and knocked out to just get the labor over with.  Part of me still wanted to try for my ideal birth.  I had lost confidence in myself along the way.  My friend Michele talked me into a homebirth.  She made so much sense to me that day and I decided to just go for it and not analyze it anymore.

I met a few Midwives and settled on Flame Dineen in Boulder.  She had almost 20 years experience and her Birthday was the same as Coopers, so it felt serendipitous as Jack would say.  The pregnancy was so beyond uneventful.  Very little morning sickness, in fact, I didn't even notice the pregnancy much until the end.  This baby was a week late!

On the 27th of August, I woke up, nursed Cooper and felt a gush down below.  My first thought was oh shit.  Like, my water broke and now we are back to Jack and Riley's birth, right???!!!  Well, I didn't really leak much the rest of the day, except maybe some bloody show and mucus.  I walked, I ate, I napped, I nursed and my contractions never really got going.  I had some really strong ones, but nothing that would keep up at the same level.  My Midwife was so easy going and said that I wasn't on a time limit.  I just had to keep anything out of the Yoni and all was fine with her.  She came over around 7p or so and hung out for several hours.  My friend Michele came over too and we went on a walk.  Around 10p, I was tired and my contractions all but disappeared.  I felt so deflated and told everyone they can go home, false alarm.  They all left around 11p or so and I went to bed wondering when this show would get on the road.  The show got on the road around 1:30a when I woke up to a very sharp contraction that left me stinging and shivering.  I ran to the shower to see if that would chill it out so I could get back to sleep and I had three more in succession.  I knew this was it and called out to my husband who didn't hear me.  I then started calling him every bad name I could think of because he wouldn't wake up!  Finally, he heard me and rushed in and I told him to call the Midwife back.

Then the details got hazy on me.  We went down to the main floor where I got my water and brought my pillows down and got ready for the Midwife to arrive.  When she got there we greeted and laughed about the labor and I had several more contractions that caused me to really pause.  I had on my HypnoBabies MP3 tracks and tried to relax and get into the groove.  We went down into our finished basement because the contractions were pretty close together and I just wanted to be where I knew I would land.  I held my husband a lot during the contractions and relaxed and gave in to the sensations.  My verbal relaxation cue was the word "peace" but at some point the word wasn't helping.  I remembered that in the book, "Spiritual Midwifery" Ina May Gaskin, the worlds leading Midwife said that saying the word "love" completely relaxes the vaginal sphincter and opens you up.  So I started a mantra "I love you, I love you, I love you..."to Rich.  It felt so good to say and to give to him during this process and at some point I started saying it to Gryffin.  I told him how much I loved him and wanted to meet him.  The contractions never did get too close together and I had some rest time between them the entire labor.  My Midwife never checked my cervix for dilation and I just labored for awhile wondering if I was in active labor yet.  Several hours later I asked Flame if I was in active labor and she laughed.  At some point I asked to get in the tub and spent several hours in water.  A few times I got out to shower for a change of scenery and to see if that would help feel better, but it honestly was so intense, there was no letting up.  I just had to get through it.  There was about 40 minutes of what must have been transition where I started shouting that I was done and that it could stop and I just wanted to escape the sensations.  It's incredibly powerful and overwhelming.  Finally, there was what must have been a 5 minute lull and I crashed with my head back on the tub and napped.  I woke up to a crazy popping sensation and bubbles coming out my Yoni, it was then that I knew my water had officially and totally broke.  It wasn't too long before I started feeling the need to push, but it wasn't overpowering.  It was manageable.  I got nervous and asked Flame to check me and she refused.  She kept telling me that I was doing great and to trust myself.  That was the best gift she could have given me.  I started pushing, but he was so far up still.  I wanted to see how much farther I had to go and felt for his head.  I felt that he had hair and it was wet.  I got so excited to know that he was coming.  It took about 30 minutes of pushing to crowning.  The last two births, I barely pushed when I was finally given the approval before they shot out of me.  Gryffin was tough though.  I was very tired pushing him out and every time I felt him slip back in, I would get so put out.  I really wanted him out bad at this point.  Once I pushed his head out, Flame had to help maneuver his shoulder and I felt his last kicks as he did his final descent.  Immediately I felt like an empty, but very much relieved vessel.  I was on all fours and had to step over his cord and grabbed him tight.  I had just a skid mark, so no stitches for me again!

It was so empowering and amazing and magical and I was on such a high afterwards.  Every woman has her story, whether it be adoption or labor or deciding not to have children and travel instead.  My life has been full of exciting wonderful stories, but nothing feels as though it defines me like laboring with Gryffin.  Gryffin may have been a surprise and throughout the entire pregnancy, I felt trepidation.  Was I going to be able to parent four boys equally?  Would I be able to juggle the needs of so many?  But with the birth going so well, bonding started immediately and I fell in love before he even descended, I know I'm going to be OK.  I needed this experience.  I needed to learn to trust my body, to trust my husband (he was the rock that grounded me throughout) and I feel like such a strong woman now.  I'm even starting to imagine myself as a Midwife or even just a HypnoBabies instructor.  Maybe that is where my self discovery will lead me.  

For right now, I'm nursing a gorgeous little man on my lap and realizing the world is just a slice of alright.

The babysitter

I have a Mother's helper that comes every Thursday morning so I can get some housework done without a toddler undoing my work.

She is 12 years old and adorable.  

So is it a coincidence that my 6yo now bounds quickly out of bed every Thursday, changes into his nice outfit, brushes his hair and teeth and runs to see her before even eating (and if you know my Riley, he doesn't do anything without eating first.)

I'm totally thinking that this might be his first crush.  He is so helpful and follows her so closely as to be her shadow.  I would never say this to him, but how cute is he??

The IRS

My husband and I live close to the edge with regards to withholdings for our personal taxes.  This year, we owe the government a pretty good chunk of change and it totally sucks.

But I just received a notice that I overpaid for my business taxes and for some reason, it feels like I hit the lottery.  I ran upstairs to tell my husband because I just can't believe it.  We are fortunate in many ways, but money has never been where our fortunes came to fruition.  So when we find we are getting a little extra anywhere?  Well, we are over-the-moon.  This will be so awesome because I totally need to get some new Fuzzi Bunz One Size diapers for the store anyway!  I was going to wait, but why not put that money back into the store?  Plus, I could sure use some diapers for the new baby too.

homeade pizza

I made the homemade pizza tonight: 1 1/2 C flour, 2 1/4 T yeast, 1 C warm water and mix well. Add 2 T olive oil, 1 T salt, another cup or two of flour (until the dough is pulling away from the bowl in the Kitchenaid, but not when it's rubbery either!)  Spread out on a floured surface, knead and let rest for an hour.  After resting, cut in half and place each in an oiled bowl in a non-drafty place for another 1/2 hour.  Heat oven to 500 F degrees.  Spread each pizza on a pan and then add your sauce, cheese and toppings.

After I had made the dough, I realized that I forgot to buy pizza sauce.  I've always bought pizza sauce because its so cheap and I can always get a good deal on a can of that stuff.

What's a pregnant uncomfortable, stain-on-the-tank-top girl supposed to do with three boys in the middle of an insane dance off?

I found a can of tomato paste and went online to www.hillbillyhousewife.com and found a recipe for pizza sauce using, you guessed it, a can of tomato paste.  The boys raved about it.  Said it was the best sauce ever.  Now, I can get a can of tomato paste for about $.40 a can.  A can of pizza sauce is $.99 at the cheapest.  And even though I used salt, pepper, onion powder, garlic powder and oregano, I still think it couldn't have been more than $.50 a recipe (and I made three pizzas with leftover sauce for one more pizza at least!)  The $.99 can would have given me enough for two pizzas, no leftovers.  So I'm thinking that approx. $.125 per pizza, my tomato paste is a steal!

No more store bought pizza sauce for me again, ever.  I'll make my own TYVM and that just satisfies the frugal gal inside of me.

The baby in my belly

I've already started a diaper stash for baby #4.  Do I need one?  Um, no.  Since I service cloth diapers to the Northern Colorado area, I have enough covers and delicious prefolds to carry this and many other baby's through potty training.  But the fact of the matter is that I WANT to have a little stash for this little man.  Every baby should get a new diaper or two, right?

So no matter how frugal I am (and I can be pretty frugal) I just had to bust the Rocky Mountain One Size Ice diaper out of inventory (and no Rich, it isn't a girlie color!) and I think I'm going to grab a Happy Heiny's One Size Peace Bear too.  Cooper (age 18 months) has about 5 days worth of pocket diapers, several which are One Size diapers...so I'm assuming they will fit baby #4 when the time comes.  I really need to stop.  But the call of microfiber and colors is too strong to resist.

Whine and Diapers please

I'm 32 weeks pregnant with my fourth son and lately, I've been tempted to stray.  The thought of dumping another heavy load of diapers in the washing machine has made me wince about my back pain.  But I'll survive and continue doing what feels right.  I'll just visit the chiropractor more often.

And on the Midwife front today, I didn't have to get weighed.  I love my Midwife.